Recalibrate with Milton

THE WAR FOR THE MINDS OF THE NEXT GENERATION PART II -the enemy's agenda

Education is by far the easiest way to capture and influence the minds of the next generation. Between the ages of 5-18 a child will spend a total of 16,000 hours in a school exposing his/her mind to the philosophies and ideologies of the teacher. The same child will spend no more than 750 hours at church however they will expose their minds to social media an average of 15,000 hours during the same period of time. So the question is, who has the greatest power to mold and shape the minds of children based on the length of exposure? 
We are in the middle of a cultural war - a war of philosophies and ideas. The war is subtle yet consistent. It is fashioned in such a way that you don't feel the heat increasing and before you know it you have been burned. You can no longer just allow you child to have access to channels like Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network or even Disney without first reading the reviews regarding that particular movie or show.
The agenda is quite obvious. I recall allowing my son back in the 90's to watch a ver innocent/educational show called Blues Clues. I didn't feel back then that I needed to monitor him while watching the little blue dog, however now if you turn to Blues Clues on the same channel you might find a drag queen singing songs about families composed of two daddies or two mommies in an effort to normalizing such idea in the minds of the children.
The Bible says above all else guard your heart for it determines the course of your life. Guarding your heart requires guarding the doorway to the heart which is the mind. Children have no filter, understanding, or training to equip them to guard their hearts and therefore as parents/grandparents it is our responsibility to do so.
My Instagram
My YouTube
Schedule Session Here

COVID-19 FATIGUE PART II - a conversation for parents

Teen depression can be defined as a serious mental condition where the teen experiences prolonged feelings of sadness, negativity, and irritability. These feelings permeate through their social and personal life, causing them to become withdrawn and lonely, thus affecting their self-image and physical life.
Teenagers of this generation are required to create a mark for themselves and rise from the choices they make. Choices that are confusing, stress filled and chaotic. Very often teenagers themselves don't understand the gravity of the consequences of the choices they have made.
Pleasure seeking and impulsiveness are honored by the media often causing teenagers to make the wrong choices and slide down the road of depression and guilt.
Recognizing Teenage Depression
Teenagers are bound to go through a series of emotional ups and downs. However, there is a difference in behavior when they are experiencing their occasional blues and in the behavior when they are unknowingly slipping into depression. Recognizing and identifying these symptoms early on may lead you to help your teenager before their situation becomes critical.
Look out for the following behavior in your teenager and seek help if they last for more than two weeks:
1) Lack of interest in normal activities/friends.
2) Poor grades and complete neglect of studies.
3) Prolonged feelings of sadness.
4) Neglecting one's appearance (e.g. not bathing for days together)
5) Poor appetite or excessive eating.
6) Inability to sleep well at night/ Sleeping too much
7) Increased sensitivity to criticism.
8) Withdraw from family or friends
9) Lack of energy and motivation
10) Inability to focus or make a decision
11) Increased irritability and anger
12) Hurting oneself -cutting their hands, burning oneself, extreme piercing or tattooing
13) Feelings of shame or guilt
14) Slowed body movements, looking and feeling extremely lethargic
15) Increased restlessness
16) Frequent mentioning of death/suicide

THE WAR FOR THE MINDS OF THE NEXT GENERATION - education and its power to form or deform the minds of children

This is a short series that will address the power of influence and indoctrination that the school system has on the lives of our children. The power to form or deform values, basic principles and moral standards. There is a war for the minds of the next generation and many parents are failing to see it. It is more serious than most tend to believe. The repetition of certain philosophies, beliefs, and ideologies will become their reality. When concepts are repeated consistently over time it doesn't matter if they are right or wrong as long as no one negates, refutes, or reteaches at home, they eventually become the very fabric of the individual's personal worldview.

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR - faith believes it, faith sees it, faith receives it

~Faith Believes It, Faith Sees It, and Faith Receives it~ On The Other Side Of Fear Was recorded a few months before the world knew of the pandemic. Fear is always lurking in the minds of people, fear is as real as people want to believe. Fear is False, Evidence, Appearing, Real. And fear is a liar. As you repeat that one particular lie to yourself, that one thought that stirs your fear, eventually your subconscious will believe in its veracity. Break the cycle. Break free from that mental construct and be free!

THE BEST MEDICINE FOR AN ANXIOUS HEART - Psalm 23

Just like any medication prescribed by a doctor to be taken 3 times a day for 7 days, I challenge you to repeat Psalm 23 seven times a day for 7 days and watch your mindset and heartset transform.
The Lord is my shepherd;I shall not want.He makes me to lie down in green pastures;He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul;He leads me in the paths of righteousnessFor His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;For You are with me;Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;You anoint my head with oil;My cup runs over.Surely goodness and mercy shall follow meAll the days of my life;And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.

COVID-19 FATIGUE - An Adolescent Mental Health Episode

If you are experiencing general feelings of stress and social isolation and have been for months, you are not alone. Those feelings may be compounded by potential economic hardships and exacerbating preexisting depression or anxiety disorders that many already had. 
“COVID-19 fatigue and/or burnout implies a person has reached his or her capacity to cope and is experiencing various mental, emotional and physical symptoms as a result of the constant exposure to pandemic stressors, including social distancing, isolation from family/friends, fears of contracting COVID-19, numerous virtual meetings, grief, financial stress, and more"...
MYINSTAGRAM
SCHEDULE_HERE
 

THE SALIVATING DOG - the Pavlovian effect on children

Classical conditioning, also known as Pavlovian or respondent conditioning, is the procedure of learning to associate an unconditioned stimulus that already brings about an involuntary response, or unconditioned response, with a new, neutral stimulus so that this new stimulus can also bring about the same response. 
credits: A War For Your Worldview ~T.W. Corder
              Kingdom education ~ Dr. G. Schultz 
MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL
MY INSTAGRAM
SCHEDULING
 

Waffles and Spaghetti - UNDERSTANDING HIS AND HER NEEDS

At the very beginning of history God said, ” ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.’ … So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:26-27).
It was in God’s plan to make men and women different from each other from the moment He imagined us. The original plan was to use these differences as a starting point for building intimate, fulfilling relationships. But in our sin-filled world, what started out as an advantage has become a frequent source of frustration.
Despite the frustration, the vast majority of us have an undeniable desire to have great relationships with the opposite sex. We want both male and female friends, we want successful business relationships with both men and women, and we want marriages that are happy and harmonious. That is why so many of our decisions are affected by how the opposite sex will respond.
It is possible to make too much out of the differences between men and women, but it is also possible to make the opposite mistake. If you want to have relationships that add to your life rather than make you exhausted, it seems to us that the place to start is with an understanding of the uniqueness each gender brings to the relationship.
And so men are like WAFFLES and women are like SPAGHETTI!
MY INSTAGRAM
MY SCHEDULING LINK
MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL
 

Will you be my Valentine??? PART 2 - HOW TO BULLETPROOF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Relational conflict is inevitable and only those who know how to effectively resolve it are the ones whose relationships and marriages endure. 
The Antidote to Criticism: Gentle Start-Up
A complaint focuses on a specific behavior, but criticism attacks a person’s very character. The antidote for criticism is to complain without blame by using a soft or gentle start-up. Avoid saying “you,” which can indicate blame, and instead talk about your feelings using “I” statements and express what you need in a positive way.
To put it simply, think of these two things to formulate your soft start-up: What do I feel? What do I need?
The Antidote to Contempt: Build a Culture of Appreciation and Respect
Contempt shows up in statements that come from a position of moral superiority. Some examples of contempt include sarcasm, cynicism, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor. Contempt is destructive and defeating. It is the greatest predictor of divorce, and it must be avoided at all costs.
The antidote to contempt is to build a culture of appreciation and respect in your relationship, and there are a few ways to do that. One of our mottos is Small Things Often: if you regularly express appreciation, gratitude, affection, and respect for your partner, you’ll create a positive perspective in your relationship that acts as a buffer for negative feelings. The more positive you feel, the less likely that you’ll feel or express contempt!
The Antidote to Defensiveness: Take Responsibility
Defensiveness is defined as self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in attempt to ward off a perceived attack. Many people become defensive when they are being criticized, but the problem is that being defensive never helps to solve the problem at hand.
Defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. You’re saying that the problem isn’t me, it’s you. As a result, the problem is not resolved and the conflict escalates further. The antidote is to accept responsibility, even if only for part of the conflict.
The Antidote to Stonewalling: Physiological Self-Soothing
Stonewalling is when someone completely withdraws from a conflict discussion and no longer responds to their partner. It usually happens when you’re feeling flooded or emotionally overwhelmed, so your reaction is to shut down, stop talking, and disengage. And when couples stonewall, they’re under a lot of emotional pressure, which increases heart rates, releases stress hormones into the bloodstream, and can even trigger a fight-or-flight response.
source: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
MY SCHEDULING PAGE
MY INSTAGRAM
MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL
 

Will you be my Valentine??? - HOW TO BULLETPROOF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Dr. Gottman calls the four indicators of a failing relationship "the four horsemen of the Apocalypse" and they are:
1. Criticism
The first horseman is criticism. Criticizing your partner is different than offering a critique or voicing a complaint. The latter two are about specific issues, whereas the former is an ad hominem attack. It is an attack on your partner at the core of their character. In effect, you are dismantling their whole being when you criticize.
The important thing is to learn the difference between expressing a complaint and criticizing:
Complaint: “I was scared when you were running late and didn’t call me. I thought we had agreed that we would do that for each other.”
Criticism: “You never think about how your behavior is affecting other people. I don’t believe you are that forgetful, you’re just selfish. You never think of others! You never think of me!”
If you find that you and your partner are critical of each other, don’t assume your relationship is doomed to fail. The problem with criticism is that, when it becomes pervasive, it paves the way for the other, far deadlier horsemen to follow. It makes the victim feel assaulted, rejected, and hurt, and often causes the perpetrator and victim to fall into an escalating pattern where the first horseman reappears with greater and greater frequency and intensity, which eventually leads to contempt.
2. Contempt
The second horseman is contempt. When we communicate in this state, we are truly mean—we treat others with disrespect, mock them with sarcasm, ridicule, call them names, and mimic or use body language such as eye-rolling or scoffing. The target of contempt is made to feel despised and worthless.
Contempt goes far beyond criticism. While criticism attacks your partner’s character, contempt assumes a position of moral superiority over them.
Research even shows that couples that are contemptuous of each other are more likely to suffer from infectious illness (colds, the flu, etc.) than others due to weakened immune systems! Contempt is fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts about the partner—which come to a head when the perpetrator attacks the accused from a position of relative superiority.
Most importantly, contempt is the single greatest predictor of divorce. It must be eliminated.
3. Defensiveness
The third horseman is defensiveness, and it is typically a response to criticism. We’ve all been defensive, and this horseman is nearly omnipresent when relationships are on the rocks. When we feel unjustly accused, we fish for excuses and play the innocent victim so that our partner will back off.
Unfortunately, this strategy is almost never successful. Our excuses just tell our partner that we don’t take their concerns seriously and that we won’t take responsibility for our mistakes:
Question: “Did you call Betty and Ralph to let them know that we’re not coming tonight as you promised this morning?”
Defensive response: “I was just too darn busy today. As a matter of fact, you know just how busy my schedule was. Why didn’t you just do it?”
This partner not only responds defensively, but they reverse blame in an attempt to make it the other partner’s fault. Instead, a non-defensive response can express acceptance of responsibility, admission of fault, and understanding of your partner’s perspective.
Although it is perfectly understandable to defend yourself if you’re stressed out and feeling attacked, this approach will not have the desired effect. Defensiveness will only escalate the conflict if the critical spouse does not back down or apologize. This is because defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner, and it won’t allow for healthy conflict management.
4. Stonewalling
The fourth horseman is stonewalling, which is usually a response to contempt. Stonewalling occurs when the listener withdraws from the interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issues with their partner, people who stonewall can make evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, acting busy, or engaging in obsessive or distracting behaviors.
It takes time for the negativity created by the first three horsemen to become overwhelming enough that stonewalling becomes an understandable “out,” but when it does, it frequently becomes a bad habit. And unfortunately, stonewalling isn’t easy to stop. It is a result of feeling physiologically flooded, and when we stonewall, we may not even be in a physiological state where we can discuss things rationally.
source: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
MY SCHEDULING PAGE
MY INSTAGRAM
MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL