Recalibrate with Milton

Breakthrough Vision -Seeing It Happen On The Inside Before It Happens On The Outside

The reason some of people are faltering and failing right now is that they have a visualization of themselves that does not coincide with the Word of God. And what you visualize in your spirit will happen in your life.
Vision is a powerful thing!
Thats why the enemy of our souls works diligently to abort you from having a visualization of seeing yourself any better off than you are. He does not want you to see yourself
Progressing
moving forward
Overcoming
walking in victory,
being consecrated
living holy
walking in deliverance
being the head and not the tail
He would rather give you visions of
you falling
Falling
getting sick
going down
Aging
being poor
getting depressed
Progression
Thoughts become words, words influence our emotions
our emotions affect our decisions, our decisions affect our actions
our actions become habits, our habits shape our character
and our character leads us to our final destination in life… and it all started with a thought!!!
If you truly want to experience God’s best for your life, the life that overflows then you have to line up your thoughts with the Word of God. Vertical alignment NOT  a horizontal one!!!
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The Delilah Dilemma - THE PROFILE OF A CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP AND HOW TO BREAK FREE FROM IT

By definition: Codependency is characterized by a person belonging to a dysfunctional, one-sided relationship where one person relies on the other for meeting nearly all of their emotional and self-esteem needs. It also describes a relationship that enables another person to maintain their irresponsible, addictive, or underachieving behavior.
Signs of codependency include:
Difficulty making decisions in a relationship
Difficulty identifying your feelings
Difficulty communicating in a relationship
Valuing the approval of others more than valuing yourself
Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem
Having fears of abandonment or an obsessive need for approval
Having an unhealthy dependence on relationships, even at your own cost
Having an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others 
The following questions can serve as a guide to determine if your relationship involves codependency:
Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner's needs?
Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes demands on your time and energy?
Do you cover your partner’s problems with drugs, alcohol, or the law?
Do you constantly worry about others’ opinions of you?
Do you feel trapped in your relationship?
Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
Codependency is too complex to pinpoint a single cause. However, it often starts in childhood. Children who grow up in a dysfunctional home often find themselves wanting or needing to help others because the adults in the family can’t or won’t.
20 Question Quiz: Am I a Codependent?
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Transformed - a TRANSFORMED LIFE can only come from a RENEWED MIND

Will my life ever change or am I destined to fail? Is this my lot in life? Why is life so unfair? Does this run in my DNA? Is it my family tree? Is it my parents life? Am I too old to change my destination?
These are some of the questions that I am frequently asked by people that have reached a point of frustration because life seems to never change. They continue to make the same mistakes. Their decisions/choices continue to get them into all sorts of trouble and they never seem to get it right.
Can their life change? Of course...ONLY if they are willing to renew their MINDS... A RENEWED MIND will produce a TRANSFORMED LIFE.
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Breaking The Four Minute Mile - Overcoming Your Own Paradigms

The Bible tells us to take every thought captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5) That means that I have a chance to do something about all thoughts that are not well-pleasing to God, before they enter my heart and become a part of me!
“As a man thinks, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7. What we think about is crucial to who we are. Scientists don’t agree on how many thoughts we have each day, but all agree there are thousands of them. Who we are is shaped moment by moment by the thoughts we choose to let into our mind and heart. But how can we control the thousands of thoughts that enter our mind each day? What do we do with the thoughts that are not pleasing to God? How can we, in reality, take every thought captive?
Often, our thoughts have to be focused on the regular tasks we must accomplish that day. However, as we go through the day, we can catch thoughts and attitudes that are contrary to God’s will and keep them from gaining control of our mind and heart. Paul explains how this is possible: “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.’’ 2 Corinthians 10:4-5. It is written that we need to battle to keep our thoughts pure, but it is also written that we have weapons to fight with!
You view the world through your mental attitude. If that attitude is predominantly negative, it can impact everything, including health, career, family, and more. Furthermore, negative thinking can have a spiraling effect that attracts more negative thinking.
We don't overcome negative thought patterns, we replace them. For most of us, those negative thought patterns are well-worn neural pathways. Four simple steps:
1. Notice when you have started the pattern.
2. Acknowledge that its a pattern you want to change.
3. Articulate what you want to be different.
4. Choose a different behavior — one that serves your goals.
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PARENT FAILS - failing to be Christ-like in the home will reap a whirlwind of destruction sooner than later

Adolescent mental health issues are on the rise especially during COVID-19 and the suicidal hotline has seen a spike in their calls. Their activity has increased by 800%.
We cannot and should not turn our backs on a very evident issue we are facing today. We would like to blame it on social media, the culture of the times and some go so far as to blame it on the presidency. However, the truth of the matter is that 85% of the issues the young person is going through started in the home.
Number one mental health issue: depression
Second cause of death: suicide
FOMO (fear of missing out) - This social anxiety is characterized by "a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing
 
some of you know what’s happening in the White House but you are totally oblivious to what’s happening in your house.
you don’t know what you don’t know
and ignorance is not bliss... it steals, kills, and destroys
Hosea 4:6 “my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” (NKJV) - If you can’t define it, you will never defeat it
- Examine me, O God, and know my mind; test me, and discover my thoughts. Find out is there is any evil in me. ~ David
Let me for a moment focus on dads, that doesn’t mean that I am underestimating the power of a mother. Women become moms the moment they find out they’re expecting, Men become dads the moment they carry the baby.
-  the power of a dad in a child’s life is unmatched
-  one hug from dad is worth 20 kisses from mom
-  who we are as dads speaks of who our children will become in the future
your son will become like you
         your daughter will end up marrying someone like you
- men, you have the power to impact your children either for good or for bad, you words bless them or curse them, you have the power to lift them up or tear them down, you can either fill them hope or inundate their minds and hearts with despair
- I have set before you life or death, blessings and curses, choose life that you and your children may live (Deut 30:19)
- as a father you MUST have the mindset that being a father is your most important MINISTRY
You have such a small window of opportunity to impact their lives and to train them up (a child, not a young teen, not a young adult, a child)
- 0-11 trainer coach- 12-18 counselor- 19-rest of their lives advisor
 
• Before you can “train them up” you must connect to their hearts. You can’t lead them by the hand it you haven’t earned their hearts.
- Do you care for me?- Can I trust you?- Can you help me?
Every home needs a Jesus, are you willing to become like Jesus?
4 ways to parent
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Relationship - Rules = Aggression
Absence = Desperation (a state of despair) (not quality over
quantity)
Rules + Relationship = Blessings
Truth without Grace = Condemns
Grace without Truth = Condones
Four Basic Needs of a Son/Daughter
1. Love 
2. Security3. Purpose4. Acceptance
 
 

UNBROKEN - finding the lesson, growth, and blessing within the trials you face every day

Trails, for some people, are a curse, bad luck, or perhaps God's heavy hand of punishment over their lives, however for others they are an opportunity for growth, sanctification, and the doorway to blessings.
Trials are the refiner's fire that removes impurities and brings forth the true value and beauty from within us. Trials are processes that God allows us to go through. He doesn't orchestrate them or cause them to happen however He uses them for our good. 
Job, after having lost all that he had, stated " my ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you" - Job 42:5 Trials will cause us to develop a hunger and thirst for more of God. And in the middle of the process is when God becomes much more tangible to us.
~IF YOU ABORT THE PROCESS YOU FORFEIT THE BLESSING~
Verses:
He has made everything beautiful in its time. (Eccl 3:11)
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. (Psalm 34:7)
You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book? (Psalm 56:8)
 
 

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MANIPULATION - breaking free from the mind games others use to control your behavior, decisions, and emotions.

Psychological manipulation can be defined as the utilization of undue power (social, relational, familial, sexual, financial, professional, etc.) for the purpose of benefiting the manipulator at the expense of their victims.
Dr. Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:
1. Criticism
Criticizing your partner is different than offering a critique or voicing a complaint.  It is an attack on your partner at the core of their character. In effect, you are dismantling their whole being when you criticize.
2. Contempt
When we communicate in this state, we are truly mean—we treat others with disrespect, mock them with sarcasm, ridicule, call them names, and mimic or use body language such as eye-rolling or scoffing. The target of contempt is made to feel despised and worthless.
3. Defensiveness
This is typically a response to criticism. We’ve all been defensive, and this horseman is nearly omnipresent when relationships are on the rocks. When we feel unjustly accused, we fish for excuses and play the innocent victim so that our partner will back off.
4. Stonewalling
This is usually a response to contempt. Stonewalling occurs when the listener withdraws from the interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issues with their partner, people who stonewall can make evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, acting busy, or engaging in obsessive or distracting behaviors.
Most manipulative individuals have four common characteristics:
They know how to detect your weaknesses.
Once found, they use your weaknesses against you.
Through their shrewd machinations, they convince you to give up something of yourself in order to serve their self-centered interests.
In work, social, and family situations, once a manipulator succeeds in taking advantage of you, he or she will likely repeat the violation until you put a stop to the exploitation.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment, often evoking in them cognitive dissonance  and other changes, including low self-esteem. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction, and misinformation, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs. Instances can range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents occurred, to belittling the victim's emotions and feelings, to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.
1.  Know Your Fundamental Human Rights*
 
The single most important guideline when you’re dealing with a psychologically manipulative person is to know your rights, and recognize when they’re being violated. As long as you do not harm others, you have the right to stand up for yourself and defend your rights. On the other hand, if you bring harm to others, you may forfeit these rights. Following are some of our fundamental human rights:
You have the right to be treated with respect.
You have the right to express your feelings, opinions and wants.
You have the right to set your own priorities.
You have the right to say “no” without feeling guilty.
You have the right to get what you pay for.
You have the right to have opinions different than others.
You have the right to take care of and protect yourself from being threatened physically, mentally or emotionally.
You have the right to create your own happy and healthy life.
These fundamental human rights represent your boundaries
 
If you are needing help and desire to set an appointment to meet and discuss whatever is going on in your life use the following link: (currently all sessions are done virtually)
https://miltonlifecoach.as.me/ 
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https://www.instagram.com/miltonlouisgonzalez/
 

FAITH that overcomes FEAR...SEEING THE ABUNDANCE OF RAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF A DROUGHT

Vision is a powerful God-given gift that many have forsaken.Sight is of the eyes but vision is of the heart. (Helen Keller - the only thing worse than being blind is having sight yet no vision)Vision goes hand in hand with God’s promise for you and your family.People of great faith are able to envision God’s promises coming to fruition in their lives (affirmation and declaration without action is the beginning of insanity)
A vision that comes into alignment (vertical) with God’s word will produce a blessed outcome, however, a skewed vision will produce undesirable results.
Amos 3:3: how can two walk together if they don’t come into agreement (breakthrough won’t come for an undecided mind) Indecision is closely related to doubt and fear
Paul told the people of Corinth “for we walk by faith and not by sight”
Our life is a matter of faith and not sight. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen (Heb 11:1)…
I can’t see it, I can’t hear it, feel it BUT I know that my breakthrough is coming!!!
Corrie Ten Boom "Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible.”
You have to position yourself in order to receive.You won’t receive if you are not disciplined enough to position yourself.  Noah didn’t wait for the rain to start building an Ark. God gave him a vision, he believed, and he ran with it. And his obedience brought forth blessing.
Job “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me”.
Research: increased concern of becoming infected with a virus or developing a disease increases your probabilities substantially
The thoughts you entertain will become your destiny in life
Prov 4:23 “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (NLT)”
Paul to the Romans: be transformed by the renewing of your mind
Paul to the Philippians: whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. 
If you ever want to know where someone’s mind has been living just listen to what they are saying because what they’re saying will reveal what’s in their hearts.
Jesus said (Matt 12:34) “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks”
1.Faith sees and hears the invisible
2.Faith presses on even when there’s no sign or answer
3.Faith endures even when the evidence is small
4.Faith sees a breakthrough before it happens
 
 

COVID-19 and its three demons Part II: FEAR IS A LIAR

FEAR is a LIAR. FEAR incapacitates, handicaps, and paralyzes you. FEAR as an acronym:
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal
 
The more you repeat an idea in your mind, whether true or false, the faster your subconscious mind will accept it as a reality. And your whole physiology will come into alignment with what it believes.
 
Hardly ever is FEAR genetically coded within our DNA, 90% of the time it is learned behavior. Most of the time it's the result of our childhood traumas, experiences, or simply the way your mother and father parented you.
 
FEAR send your body into one of three different responses: FIGHT, FLIGHT or FREEZE.
 
Trypanophobia is an extreme fear of medical procedures involving injections or hypodermic needles.
 
Hemophobia is an extreme fear of seeing blood, or getting tests or shots where blood may be involved.
 
Cortisol: stress hormone
Oxytocin: love (calm) hormone
 
Calming Techniques:
diaphragmatic breathing
guided imagery 
tapping
 Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
 
In vivo exposure refers to the direct confrontation of feared objects, activities or situations by a person under the guidance of a therapist.
 
Your default mode is not fear, it's POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND.
 
Breaking free from the vicious fear and anxiety cycle is going to require that you reframe and recalibrate your mind.
 
Robin Sharma's Four Interior Empires: MINDSET, HEARTSET, SOULSET, and HEALTHSET
 
 
Keep calm and avoid in the midst of the wave of panic:
stay away from social media and up-to-the-minutes news
know the facts and understand the truth
actively remind yourself of reason not to worry
create a new routine
occupy your mind with relaxing hobbies
if you live alone call a friend
if you are suffering from extreme fear and anxiety seek help from a specialist
Psalm 27:1 - The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?
 
 
(music credits: Zach Williams - Fear is a Liar)

COVID-19 and its three demons: DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, and FEAR

COVID-19 has three demons attached to it: DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, and FEAR. 
 
Depression is on the rise and fear has become a normal emotion that people are learning to live with, notice I didn't say cope with I said live with. 
 
A third of Americans show signs of clinical depression and anxiety. These and other mental conditions are becoming amplified during the recent pandemic, while COVID-19 patients and their families are also at high risk to develop depression and anxiety.
 
Maurizio Fava, psychiatrist-in-chief, within the Massachusetts General Hospital, is not surprised by the correlation between mental health conditions and COVID-19. “It’s quite understandable the COVID-19 pandemic is likely to cause significant stress and psychological distress for a large proportion of the population,” he says. “And we know the rates are progressively increasing.”
 
According to Dr. Fava, there are various factors related to COVID-19 that contribute to the increase in depression rates, including:
Trauma from widespread disease
Grief over losses of life
Fear of getting sick
Unprecedented physical distancing
Financial concerns, including unemployment and housing insecurity
Loss of community
Reduced access to caregivers
Symptoms of depression include:
Unusual sadness or irritability, persisting even when circumstances change
Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed; reduced feelings of anticipation
Changes in weight
Shifts in sleep patterns
Sluggishness
Harsh self-assessment (“I’m ugly. I’m no good. I’ll never make friends.”)
Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness
Suicidal ideation 
Four Classic Types of Psychological Depression:
Normal or Situational Depression
Masked or Hidden Depression
Neurotic Depression
Psychotic Depression
SAD: Seasonal Affective Disorder - occurs in climates where there is less sunlight at certain times of the year. Symptoms include fatigue, depression, hopelessness, and social withdrawal.Treatment includes light therapy (phototherapy), talk therapy, and medications.
 
Scriptures to Memorize if you are feeling depressed:
Psalm 130:5
Psalm 54:4
Psalm 42:11
Phil 4:8
Phil 4:6-7
James 1:12
Prov 15:22
Isaiah 43:2
Job 6:10
Jeremiah 29:11
 
credits: "Modern Love" final scene with Anne Hathaway